Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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