Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
