On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
