i think i have herpe
just one?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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