ugly people sure do ruin things
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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