All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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