i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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