I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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