babies were throwing up all over the place
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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