i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
