the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She bit a glass in half.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
