Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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