She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
