where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
