so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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