Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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