sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your cock deserves a montage
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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