Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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