whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
