They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
