Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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