So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
whose parrot is this?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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