he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize