Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
A+ Viking dick
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
