Whod you bang
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
