do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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