If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You can't special order awesome
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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