NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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