You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
