Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
