You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You dont lie about slip and slides
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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