Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
