what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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