But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
