of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They took my balls.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
