Yo dont text me then not text me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
