What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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