is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
