hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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