she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
