So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
