Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
