The maid of honor just puked.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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