so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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