Barsexuality is the new black.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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