I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
