You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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