I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Couch. On fire.
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