They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
