Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
