Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
