I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
